BEIRUT DIARY

• Collection: FOIA Collection
• Collection: Declassified Articles from Studies in Intelligence: The IC’s Journal for the Intelligence Professional
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): 0000619188
• Document Page Count: 11
• Document Release Date: July 30, 2014
• Case Number: F-2013-02322
• Publication Date: June 1, 1983

Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188TITLE:Beirut DiaryAUTHOR:(b)(3)(c)VOLUME:27 ISSUE:SummerYEAR:1983Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 0006191884'proved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188STUDIES IINTELLIGENCEA collection of articles on the historical, operational, doctrinal, and theoretical aspects of intelligence.3All statements of fact, opinion or analysis expressed in Studies in Intelligence are those ofthe authors. They do not necessarily reflect official positions or views of the CentralIntelligence Agency or any other US Government entity, past or present. Nothing in thecontents should be construed as asserting or implying US Government endorsement of anarticle's factual statements and interpretations.Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188?(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188SE-Where has been an explosionat the Embassy. .BEIRUT DIARY(b)(3)(n)(b)(3)(c)This is not, repeat not, a trip report. For whatever they may beworth, these are the blurred and confused impressions that remainafter one of the most turbulent weeks I shall ever spend, the weekthat began Monday, 18 April 1983. I have tried to be accurate.Although I know the events I have recounted here did take place,it is hard to fix a time or a day for them now, as I sit in a safeplace on my way home, writing it down.F-11a1 arrived in Lebanon on TDY Monday, 11 April,in connection with my work as an economic analyst. On Sunday, 17 (b)(1)April, my office director, Bob Ames, unexpectedly flew into Beirut. He and I (b)(3)(n)were  invited to attend a small dinner that evening at Twoother officers and their wives were also invited. was delighted to seeBob, who had not been in Beirut since 1978, and he was exhilarated to be backin town. I mentioned to Bob that thus far I had met mainlyHe assured me he would get me a different view of Lebanon.(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)MondayBob calls me early this morning to invite me to supper withfriend of his. We agree to meet at the Mayflower at 1930.-economics officer Hunt anin?h s rranged for us todrive to Sidon for the day with  a visiting Amer-ican friend. Janin doesn't mention to me that he would rather not go, since aminor but chronic heart condition of his is acting up.As we drive down to Sidon, I look at Damur and the many otherdestroyed villages on the way, thinking how, superficially, they resembletumble-down buildings in many third world countries.At 1500, as we are finishing an elaborate lunch, our hostess tells us therehas been an explosion at the Embassy. She has known for an hour and a half,but hadn't wanted to ruin our lunch. She speaks in an unconcerned way, andwhen I accuse her of joking, another guest steps in to remind me that this hap-pens to the Lebanese -all the time?we are used to it.- With sick feelings inour stomachs we pile into the car and search for radio stations with news?thestations are being rather blase about it. As we drive back, I look at the ruinedtowns around me with a fresh eye. Now they are grisly.Once in Beirut, we stop at Janin's flat to pick up his radio. Looking fromthe balcony, we see no smoke, nothing unusual in the direction of the(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 0006191881(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)SkslifTApproved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)DiaryEmbassy, which gives us hope. Hunt sends in a radio message to all stations,*listing us as safe and sound. Then we begin our ten-minute walk to theEmbassy. The Corniche is cordoned off and a series of Marine and LebaneseArmed Forces checkpoints set up. Our local employee and visitor are turnedback at the first checkpoint. We wish them Godspeed and trudge on withmounting agony to the Embassy?less than half a mile away.A hundred yards from the Embassy, we catch sight of the new political/military officer Ellson, who had been in the Embassy at the time of the blast.He shakes his head and says he doesn't know but that many people have died.I hope to God that Bob Ames had been outside at meetings. We walk on.You have all seen pictures of the Embassy. By this time (1600) bulldozersand clearing machines are already at work. I catch the deputy chief ofmission, Bob Pugh, and ask if any special instructions have been issued forhoping to be told that Ames was directing our efforts fromnear by. Pugh shakes his head and repeats Ellson's news. There is a meeting atthe Pughs' flat in the two-building Durraford Complex?two hundred-yardsaway?at 1800.I remember very little here. I go to our hotel, look for a message fromBob, leave one for him, should he return.At the meeting, I see the walking wounded, and search for faces I know.Thank God, I see many of them. The atmosphere is calm, tightly controlled.We are all looking to Bob Pugh, who has taken command efficiently. A 24-hour open line to the Department has been set up at the Draper Mission's flatin the -new- building in the Durraford complex.At 1900 Janin and I walk back to the Embassy. Yellow bulldozers arestarting to clear the huge pile of rubble at the base of the Embassy. The front -left half of the Embassy's center section no longer exists. The reinforcedconcrete floors have fallen away, hanging on only by their right-side anchors.Marines, construction workers, security officers, and Embassy staff aremilling around under the spotlights looking agonized, but controlled.It occurs to me that Bob may be in the hospital, and I drag Janin off toAmerican University Hospital. The emergency room is crowded with wound-ed people, anxious relatives. The staff is doing an excellent job of controllingthe madness and getting people seen to.An orderly holds up a list of admitted wounded. We scan it, see one namewe know, but not Bob's. We then go through the pile of individual admit slips.Nothing. I ask nurses. Nothing. In my heart, I know already.At the emergency room, I see two friends who are hurt but will be allright?an AID and a Commerce man. I promise to make phone calls home forthem.At 2100 we return to the Embassy. Nothing has changed except that teargas canisters stored in the Embassy are leaking. I approach the rubble to startsearching only to drop back when I get a mouthful of gas.2 SEXET/Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188Diary SE(b)(3)(n)w Bob Pugh points out a body pinned between two floors. We stand just out-side the floodlights amidst the wrecked cars and ambulances and I fix my eyeson the body trying to see around it, to look for Bob Ames.It gets slowly colder as the hours wear on, and we continue to wait, staringhungrily first at the body suspended above, then at the heap of rubble below.I find a friend, who has heroically and steadily directed clearing and,rescue efforts, standing hunched and alone in an empty space under thefloodlights. We cry a little and hold on to each other.I return to the edge of the darkness, chatting anxiously with Pugh,Marines, and various staff.Thank God for the Marines and their commanders?all excellent men.One wraps me up in a big blanket, for which I am grateful. Another says themen have brought coffee and a little food, which I fetch for the others. I can'tbear to go too far away, for fear Bob's body will be found while I ant gone.TuesdayAt 0130 I settle down to sit on the low wall in front of the Embassy. Nobodies or wounded have been pulled out since at least 1800 Monday. Whenwill it begin? Surely they must be brought out soon.A friend and I walk to his flat to get me a jacket, and while there he gets a7m_11;phone call f Tunisian maid of one of the ouples?neither shenor waiting  ives have any word. They are not at the -site--but it isclear to me that their loved ones must be dead. It was the first day at work inthe for one wife.Janin and I break to call the Department from the Draper flat withmessages for our families and my wounded friends' families. (b)(3)(c)(b)(1)answers the phone?a familiar voice helps make the scene more real. Marinesare everywhere in the Durraford complex, to protect Pugh, the staffers, andthe Draper Mission.We return, shivering, to our spot at the perimeter to wait.Suddenly, at 0230, there is a commotion at the rubble heap. People clusteraround one spot. A body has been found. My heart skips and I know. ChristineCrocker waves me over, and asks me to identify the body. Janin and one otherare holding tight on to my arms. I look briefly. Yes. I am handed his passportand wallet.The only thing that seems to matter is that Bob not be left without thepresence of someone who knows him. An Embassy officer reminds me that Imust retrieve all his papers.My demands to ride with the ambulance to the morgue are deflected andI follow the ambulance with Janin in his auto.As we arrive at the morgue at 0330 the Civil Defense Forces try to keepme out, waving Janin in instead. They tell me it is too grisly for a woman. Iignore them, climb over the railing, and go in. Curiously, the presence of fiveSkET(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 0006191883? ?s.'???? ?Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)Diaryother bodies on the floor doesn't affect me at all. I retrieve Bob's wedding ring,pray for his soul, and tell him goodbye. I wonder why I do not cry.At 0400 Janin and I return to the Mayflower Hotel. Many Americans hadstayed there, and the hotel staff is shocked into numbness. I tell them what Iknow of the dead and the living and go upstairs to Bob's room to pack hisclothes. I refuse to stay alone in my own hotel room for fear of having a quietmoment to think and ensconce myself instead in Janin's flat.At 0500 I return to the Draper Mission flat to use the 24-hour line toreport positive ID. The compound is swarming with Marines. To say that theirpresence is reassuring is an understatement. We all are concentrating veryhard on whatever task we have at hand?in order to avoid the quicksand ofour emotions.After a few hours' rest, Janiris heart condition forces him into the -hospital. An Embassy officer asks me to visit two wives who are still waitingfor news of their husbands and get them to focus on the problems of the:Tuni-sian maid who had worked for a She speaks no English a'rid is (b)(1)rumored to have broken down. It is a brilliant sunny day?too beautiful to be 1 (b)(3)(n)so sad. We should all be waterskiing instead.Traffic at 1100 in Beirut is utter madness. Arlette and I abandon my carand trudge halfway across West Beirut to get to the maid's flat. The sense ofurgency I feel about reaching the maid is reinforced by fear that snipers arelooking for us. We seem to be safe for the moment from another car bombsince traffic has not budged in ten minutes.We get the maid squared away, and sheltered in the flat of the DAO,Colonel Jock Craig.It is 1500. The sense of how lucky I am is reinforced as I return to the-site- as it is now called. The Corniche is cordoned off for half a mile west ofthe Embassy, and I have never seen it so strangely, ominously empty. LAF andMarine checkpoints abound. I am grateful that in finding Bob so early, at leastI am not still in the agony of waiting, as are so many others. Not a single bodyhas been found since Bob's, more than 12 hours ago.I drive off to hook up with an officer who is on secure voice toWashington. Hearing the Headquarters voices makes me realize how far awayfrom home we are.Back in Beirut, the -site- seems unreal. It is a heavily armed camp?hundreds of Marines standing guard, bulldozers everywhere, exhausted RedCross people still working. Little can be heard above the din of the generatorsand moving equipment. Like so many others, I stand and look and wait. Stillno more bodies.I visit Janin in the hospital, only to be told on my return that bomb threatshave been lodged against the hospital.It is astonishing how far the words -Zafara Amerikya--AmericanEmbassy?will get you in this town today. Into the hospital without a pass,through any checkpoints, whatever.Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188Diary SE(b)(3)(n)v I What a release?I drive by myself to the airport at night to pick up newlyarrived personnel. I find that Ellson and Assistant DAO Major Englehardt areconcerned about me driving alone, and their car pulls up just as I emerge frommine. We have a few beers and relax in the lounge as we wait for the flight. Itis good to see familiar faces. I drop off the TDY folks at the Mayflower. Ellsonand I make supper and I drive him home, wondering whether I will make itback to the flat. After I do, the idea of remaining alone and unguarded'petrifies me, so I go to stay at the DCM's residence at the Durraford, whereseveral of us talk on into the night.WednesdayAround 0300 we are told that the body of  has been found. Kindsenior Embassy people are dispatched to see his wife.Later in the morning more bodies are recovered. We get word that a largesenior delegation is coming Thursday night to take the bodies honae, and agreat shudder runs through us all as we fear for their safety. I am no 16-gerafraid of being sniped at or my flat bombed, except for lonely moments on a__few empty streets. I go about my morning rounds of hospital and meetings atPugh's residence. I know that the mission has had other telephoned bombthreats, i.e., "The next one will be bigger than the last,- but I am fatalisticallyuntroubled.(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)Until I am in the outside garage area of the Durraford Complex, stillheavily guarded by Marines, when we hear three shots fired on the Corniche,northwest of the compound. All of a sudden I am rooted to the spot, not know-ing whether to flee the compound as quickly as possible or make a last ditchstand where at least the Marines have weapons. The idea of staying any longerin Beirut seems shockingly arrogant and wasteful of human life. I hear some ofthe soldiers looking up at the surrounding buildings, muttering about possiblesniper positions. I do not know whether they speak about "ours" or "theirs"and I am sick with fear. The Ambassador is meant to drive out of the complexin just a few minutes and no one knows what he will encounter on theCorniche. Nonetheless, he cannot give in and his cars speed away. I wonderhow he can carry on in such danger.I think of Janin with a heart condition in the hospital under threat of abomb attack and wonder whether it is safer to pull him out or leave him in.Finally I stumble out of the compound into my car, having persuaded somenearby man to accompany me. Nothing in sight on the Corniche. Later wehear that one Lebanese checkpoint soldier has been shot. I suspect it was anaccidental shooting by one of his comrades but I do not know.At the evening meeting at the Pughs', we worry that the VIP plane willdepart in too much of a rush, that there are more Americans' bodies yet to befound. Pugh agrees to recommend that the flight be postponed to Saturday.I am told ?that I will accompany Bob's body, and while I am honored to doso, I shrink from the thoughts of my own loved ones, who will want to see andtalk to me. I do not want to begin thinking and talking about my feelings.Approved for Release: 2014/07/290006191885SETApproved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)DiaryvThdrsdayIn the morning I go to the American University Hospital, which is underheavy guard. No one is allowed to park near the building. Still, I see the thou-sands of visitors pouring in and out and think how easy it would be. . . I shoutthat I am from the American Embassy and no one even checks my bag.(b)(1)One of my sadder jobs is to pack up a room at thE(b)(3)(n)Mayflower. I see her picture?she is about my age. I tremble the whole time Iam there, and cannot get out too quickly. Mayflower staff employees continueto ask me for information about their acquaintances. They are genuinelygrieved, and in telling them I feel like an accomplice to the bombing. -I go back to the site, and watch the hardhats cut away more floors fromthe center section. I find the young officer who had given me a long tour ofour Military Assistance Unit the previous week. He is bitterly disillusioned,saying that he and his men had come out here John Wayne ? style, believingthat they could save Lebanon, only to find themselves being shot at by theIsraelis and bombed by the Arabs. He is of the opinion that we shouldwithdraw and let the people here fight it out among th'emselves. "They -deserve each other." Last week he showed me the famous spot where CaptainJohnson drew his revolver at an Israeli tank. He knows Johnson well and saidhe was a quiet, sober guy?not one who would have pulled a stunt like thatwithout good reason.Both the Pughs are gems. They hold us all together. Bob is sof tspoken andwarm and very efficient. Bonnie keeps a smile up as her beautiful home istrampled through by hordes of soldiers and other strangers. She is a greatcomfort to everyone and is constantly serving meals to all corners. One Marinecolonel comments_ to me how outstanding have been(b)(b)((1 )3)(n)throughout this crisis.I go out on the street to do some shopping. The rest of the city seems verynormal. How can they live so routinely through this? It must twist themsomehow.I finally run out of things to do, and sit at the Pughs' staring into the dis-tance, hoping that someone will give me a job so that I do not have to think. AMarine officer who spent several years fighting in Vietnam tells me kindlythat he knows I need sleep and half-orders me to a back bedroom in thePughs'. Thank the Lord for people who are so strong and gentle.Evening. I am asked to go through the apartment of one of the station of-ficers and look for a will. I drive out in the pitch black worrying that theirapartment is being watched. I cling to my walkie-talkie, listening for anywarning. I must abandon the car in the Beirut traffic and walk the last quartermile. Fortunately the concierge accompanies me upstairs. I inform him andthe neighbors and again feel like a criminal. I go through the apartment,trembling, hastily.As long as I am near the hospital, I visit Janin. The young American whoaccompanied us to Sidon is in the room. He is gleefully telling us about his6Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188Diary(b)(3)(n)secret trip up to Tripoli in a hired car. He is even more ignorant than I aboutthis country and for a brief moment I hate him for so stupidly endangeringhimself.I trudge back into the Pughs' with a heavy armload of the papers I hadcollected and must appear to be right on the edge as my officer from Vietnam,who is leaving for dinner with friends, pulls me out the door and tells me 1.need to get out and enjoy myself. The four of us go to an Italian restaurant andQuietly have a lot to drink. Later in the evening, this pillar of strength givesway and begins to cry very hard.FridayWe are on edge as the delegation visit begins. The will (b)(1)be moved up to Yarze tonight for a private meeting with  (b)(3)(n)?I visit the hospital while the delegation is also there, and see lots of jeepswith Marines surrounding the place. They have been outstanding?unfaLlinglypolite but determined to do their job and protect us. Janin will be rasedtomorrow.We assemble at Yarze in the Ambassador's study. John says a few wordsand we all order drinks. The survivors are holding up remarkably well?inpart thanks to one Embassy officer who has barely eaten or slept in four days,but continues to be a rock.The widows and I are driven back down in an armored Surete car. I amthe last to be dropped off and I note that the driver has an automatic tuckedunder his leg. Nonetheless, I slump down in the car to keep my head low. Aswe drive down the Corniche toward the Pughs', the first LAF checkpointrefuses to let my Surete driver through. Cursing the imbecility of theLebanese, I walk along the silent moonlit Corniche imagining what a perfecttarget I present.I have gotten used to the idea of departing tomorrow morning, and amsuddenly told that it is off. I will not be on the plane.SaturdayIn the morning the Embassy Americans pile on two buses to go out to thedeparture ceremony. I am shocked to see what a small group we in fact are. Itis a lumbering, big-bellied plane that seems to occupy the whole runway. TheMarine, Navy, and Lebanese Armed Forces honor guard is in place?theMarine contingent commanded by my captain from the Military AssistanceUnit. Again, it is brilliantly hot and sunny and I am thankful for an excuse toput on my sunglasses. We file past the press cattlewagons to stand at ourappointed places. The click of shutters is all that can be heard. Soon the VIPdelegation walks up and the slow, slow, cortege of hearses begins. One by one,a six-man contingent?four Marines and two Navy?walks each casket up intothe belly of the plane. After the first two hearses leave?four caskets?there isan unbearably long, hot wait for another. Where are they? The strain begins toshow on everyone but the honor guard. Finally the arrivals resume. It isApproved for Release: 2014/07/29 0006191887Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)  Diary,ingtersonal?the caskets are draped with flags and we don't know whose theyare. People begin to lose control only when the last casket emerges?it iscarried by six Marines, so we know it is the extremely well liked young Marinewho is being carried in.The plane spews blasts of hot and cold air in our faces as it revs up inter-minably for departure. Some of us lag behind on the way back to the buses sothat we can watch the plane disappear. I whisper my goodbyes. A man twice ?my age holds on to me and begins to cry. I am only numb.I am told by my officer from Vietnam that it is impossible to understandhow powerful the blast was unless you go into the building, stand near the spotwhere the car was parked, and look up and out. I go and the enormity of thebomb hits me for the first time. I look straight up and see nothing but a shaftof blue sky. The enormous upward force of the thing was overwhelming. Ilook down. I am standing on a pile of rubble. To one side there is a great holethat extends down at least 20 feet. I look out toward the sea and see with a neweye the burnt and crushed cars, the railing along the sidewalk that was blowninto the sea, and the great hunks of reinforced concrete lying aroundMeanwhile, concerns about a next attack are mounting. One of myMarine officer friends is changing his rental car every other day andinspecting it carefully each time before he gets in. Lebanese Armed Forcesguards are posted at the major military hotels. Concertina wire blocks thestreets. Somebody even decides to install speed bumps at the western end ofthe Corniche. It is a well-meant gesture but it irritates me?speed bumps areeasier to cross at high speed than low.SundayI drive up to Byblos and Jounieh with a friend?it is another perfect dayand I want to do something reasonably normal. We sit on a wall overlooking aherd of goats and the sea and we start to regain our feelings of normalcy. Myfriend notes that the road is usually crowded at that time of the day, and won-ders if the Lebanese know something we don't. Then we hear shots downbelow and the ominous; anxious cloud returns. On our drive back to Beirut, westop for orange juice and see six or seven trucks carrying alternately Christianmilitia and Lebanese regulars, hurrying toward Beirut. Soldiers appear by theside of the road, are picked up by taxis, and speed off. We never find out whathas happened.MondaySome relief from the car shortage is in sight. All but two of the motor poolcars were destroyed. A ship carrying three armored cars to Embassy Kinshasastalled in the eastern Mediterranean after its owner went bankrupt and it wastowed into Tripoli. I gather that clouds of piracy and theft hang over the ship,which is only a rusty hulk barely afloat, but someone in the Department hadthe bright idea that we should get these cars. So the ship is sent down to Beirut.Janin spends the day clambering in and out of the slimy hold, persuadingCustoms to give us the cars. I hope that lack of armor on other cars won't getanyone killed.8 STApproved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 000619188Diary SET/(b)(3)(n)TgesdaySecurity at the Charles and Cadmos Hotels is getting much tighter. Todaythey moved large scoops of earth around the two of  them in the hopes of stop-ping any high-speed, determined car bombers. One has decidedto make himself scarce, taking a hotel far outside of West Beirut, workingalone, and checking in with the Embassy only when necessary.Bob Pugh said yesterday that consideration was being given to placingcontract guards around some of the apartment buildings with a highconcentration of Americans. I think that will prove to be a mistake and hopethat Marines are emplaced instead. I leave tomorrow and will be sorry to saygoodbye to all the good people that are here.WednesdayIt is 0300. I look out my hotel window to the Embassy on the seaside, lessthan a mile away. It is brightly and garishly lit up, the only visible building inthe blackness and mist. From here it looks almost like a stage set. It seems rightto turn my back and drive away from Beirut in the darkness.This article is classified SEMEXSNR ET)(b)(3)(n)(b)(3)(n)Approved for Release: 2014/07/29 0006191889(b)(1)(b)(3)(n)