KING OF HOAXERS DEALS HIS JOKERS LIKE A REAL ACE

• Document Type: CREST
• Collection: General CIA Records
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): CIA-RDP75-00001R000400400014-5
• Release Decision: RIPPUB
• Original Classification: K
• Document Page Count: 2
• Document Creation Date: November 11, 2016
• Document Release Date: February 22, 1999
• Sequence Number: 14
• Publication Date: January 14, 1962
• Content Type: NSPR

Sanitized - Approved For Release : CIA-RDP75-00001R000400400014-5
TIMES IFIERALL!
JAN P 4 1962
3
Sanitized - Approved For Release : CIA-RDP75-00001R000400400014-5
King of Hoaxers CPYRGHT
Deals Iiirr
ost tpgrolf
Like a Real Ace
Last week, in an article by Lois Afitchi,
son, we saw the cream of Oxford and
Canthridge practicing the ancient if not
100 per cent honorable art of the prae
Weal joke in Eng/and. This week the
scene changes to the United States?and
a Washtnotonian who is the envy and
ideal of practical jokesmiths the world
over.
By Thomas Wolfe
elteer n000rLer
THERE ARE STILL SOME nation-
1- ally known journalists In Wash
ington who will have their valets strike
You fa journalist is a reporter who
collects china and has a valet) if you
mention the Ghost Artists Story. So
? let us dispense with the subject quickly
and quietly and only by way of intro-
ducing Hugh Troy of 2531 Q at. ow.,
America's all-time freestyle practical
joke champion.
The episode began with an advertise
went in The Washington Post of Feb,
5, 1552: "Too busy to paint? Call on
The Ghost Artists, 1426 33d et. ow,
Phone Michigan 2574. We Paint It?
You Sign It! Primitive (Grandma Moses
type), Impressionist, Modern, Cubist,
Abstract, Sculpture . also, Why Not
Give an Exhibition?"
The ad was just inconspicuous
enough to excite the scoop hormones.
Soon the wire se,ice teletypes were
rattling off such disclosures as:
"After thriving quietly for three
years In New York, a fantastic new
wrinkle in the art world?ghost paint-
1ri)
Hugh Troy, king of the practical
jokers, is a 225-pound 6 feet 5,
which he corrects to "6 feet Rh
since I lost my hair."
ing?has moved to the Nation's Capital
because of important clients high in
the Government."
QUOTING AN ANONYMOUS spokes-
man, the stories went on to tell
how the Ghost Artists, successfut
commercial artists in real life, were
fattening up on commissions from ex-
ecutives who wanted to impress their
friends or simply dilly-dabble in the
artists.and.models life.
In the hours that followed, however,
our Washington correspondents began
receiving edgy queries from their New
York offices. The panting gaiety of the
early dispatches gave way to retching
lea the truth dawned. One by one?in
messages such as the following, pre-
served in the files of The Washington
l?out_thenewsoyudiratescoctexsrd
that they had been had: WE ARE
WITHDRAWING STORY ON GHOST
PAINTERS WHICH WE ASKED TO
BE HELD OVER LAST NIGHT FOR
FURTHER CHECKING. SOURCE HAS
REPUTATION OF BEING A PRACTI.
CAL JOKER.
This happened to be a grave under.
statement. For the source was Hugh
Troy, and Hugh Troy :was nothing if
not a notorious practical joker or a
Leonardo among practical jokers, de.
pending on whether or not you have
been among the gulled.
Harpo Maffi (in a ghost-written avti.
ole, by the way) calls Troy "the most
eminent practitioner of the art," H.
Allen Smith devotes an entire chapter
to Troy in his book "The ComMeat
Practical Joker" and entitles it, "Gen.
ius at Work."
Ro(),YAPmRe Ar i.,NaKnSmhiakveo ebe cIot m?yea,a Tr p aoryt
wno had a park bench made, set it
down by a walkway in New York's Ceo
Ira! Park. waited for a cop to come by,
picked up the bench and ran?and
flabbergasted the judge by producing
the bill of sale.
It was Troy who assured himself of
CIDYRP.HT
a permanent parking place at his front
door ln Manhattan by carving a fire
hydrant out of balsa wood and leaving
it at the curb while he was away (a
fire in the block finally exposed this
one).
It was Troy who, while a mere col-
lege boy, panicked the city of Ithaca,
N. Y., by cleverly "walking" a pre-
servea rrunoceros nom tnrougn one
reservoir. (Half the city wouldn't drink
water, it was said, and the other heti
swore they tasted rhinoceroa)
All these and literally scores more
of Troy capers have been chronicled,
analyzed and, in the ultimate form of
flattery, !malted endlessly. Little won-
der, then, that friends of the men are
forever asking each other, "What is
Hugh Troy up to these days?" Far from
being idle conversation, the question
usually brings all other conversation to
a hush. For while Troy's mature or
Classic Phase artistry is usually aimed
at sociely.at-large rather than individ-
uals, nobody wants to be in the ranks
of the gullible when a Troy production
is in progress.
rrs0 FIND OUT JUST WHAT Hugh
Troy is up to these days, we
dropped by his apartment the other
afternoon. Troy is a barrelschested
man of Pantagruelian dimensions, 6
feet 5 and 225 pounds. Nobody in Wash-
ington. however, invites you in with
a gentler, kindlier show of good man-
ners?partly, perhaps, to assure you
that there is no bucket of water over
the dom.
Foe while big league pranksters like
Troy, press agent Jim Moran and the
late industrialist Brian G. Hughes
would sooner be caught taking a wood-
en nickel than resort to the slapstick
style of practical joke, their reputa-
tions dog them wherever they go.
"At parties, people come op and tell
yew. -Do tionsetning funny:. Troy
mourned. "Boyers ' and publlsheds al-
ways used to suspect me of sneaking
double images, nutty symbols or pie.
torial gags into my paintings. It's an
awful reputation to have."
Troy's straight profession is author
and illustrator of children's books, geffi
eral illustrator and mural painter. Pub.
Ushers have asked him to write his
autobiography, concentrating on his
life in jest.
.1 couldn't begin to write a baok like
that," he said, looking more penitent
by the minute. "I can't even bear to
read about all those things in Allen's
book (H. Allen Smith's "Compleat
Practical Joker"). It embarrasses me.
Besides, I've retired from the field."
But Mr. Troy, what about those cards
we hear you sent out just the other
Christmas?
Reluctantly, he owned up to the
soak-well Christmas card gag, and it
serves as a good example of what in-
spires Hugh Troy's talent for logical ?
lunacy.
"I'd been getting more and more
irritated with the Christmas cards peo-
ple send out these days," he explained.
"They have pictures of martini glasses,
Buddhist scroll drawings, the Italian
invasion of Abyssinia, any damned
thing as long as It's off the subject of
Christmas."
Troy went to a local stationery store,
bought a large supply of paper with a
faint watermark, had it out and folded
Christmas card-style. The outside of
each card was left blank and the inside
bore the printed message: "Soak in
tepid water for five minutes. Hugh
Of the scores of friends he sent them
to, some wrote back that their cards
must have been defective because they
had soaked it for hours on end (one
soaked it for three days) and had got-
ten only some kind of watermark.
Others said Santa Claus' head load be-
gun to appear, but what about the rest
of him? The response Troy liked best
was a telegram he received Christmas
morning from the radio comedian Col.
Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle (the late F.
Chase Taylor).
Arriving on Western Union's gay,
green-and-red, holly-berry Christmas
greetings envelope, broad', "GO SOAK
YOUR HEAD."
rr ROY WAS ONCE INVITED to lee
lure on practical jokes at his alma
water, Cornell, and his message to the
students was this: Don't act like col-
lege boys and sit down and decide to
think up a practical joke. If you do,
you 0111 come up with something flat
and mechanical, such as painting aced
mustache on the Founder's Statue at
Dartmouth. Circumstances have to
spire you. You have to seize the me
noent.
Troy's Ghost Artists stunt was a ease
in point, lie was fed up with the prev-
gence of ghost.writing in the United
States. American University had gone
so Inc as to establish a course in it.
The president of a leading university
had been caught delivering an inaug-
ural address which, courtesy of a lazy
ghost writer, had been lifted word for
word from an article by aziother uni.
versity president in an educational
review.
As with the Christmas cards, Troy
decided to push a social trend clear
over the cliff. Even after it was exposed
for what it was, Troy's "Ghost Artists"
inspired editorials on the ghost writing
THE WASHINGTON POST Sunda Jo
The first show of Van Gugh's work at the Museum of Modern Art attracted
so many people that none of thern?including practical joker Hugh Troy
?coulcl get a decent look at the paintings. Troy suspected that most of the
spectators were attracted more by Van Cogh's lurid reputation (he once
out off an ear and sent it to a prostitute) than by his work. Accordingly,
racket in newspapers throughout the
United States.
Troy has directed his talents at in-
dividuals only when he found them
unbearably pompous or, as in the case
of British author Stephen Potter
("Gamesmanship: The Art of Winning
Games Without Actually Cheating"),
When he thought they had a sense of
humor that would relish it.
FitROY GAVE a party for Potter in
1 his Georgetown home. The first
guest who arrived, a young matron,
headed immediately for Potter and
said, --Oh. Mr. Potter, roe Co enjoyed
all your books, and won't you please
autograph this one for iner
Flattered, Potter took the book.
reached for his pen, turned the flyleaf
and found Hoe title, -Upland Game and
Gunning, by E. Runcey Potter." Not
wishing to embarrass the woman, Pot-
ter signed it with an indistinct scrawl.
By this time, a second guest had en.
treed. Like the woman, he greeted
Potter with warm words of encomium
and handed him a Potter book to sign
?"The Lower Ganges Revisited, by
Cokely Atherwart Potter, Bart."
On they came, more guests, each
bearing a book?"1 Was an Undercover
Beatnik, by Rock Potter," "Senator
Borah: Scourge or Good Samaritan?
by Arthur Potter, Ph.D." "The Comte
taus Blade of Being, by Cleanth Wel--
stone Potter," "Old Moroccan Flesh
Mart Excavations, by Dr. AS Potter.
Amir," etc., etc.
Troy had planned the party weeks
in advance, asking every guest to dig
up a book by somebody named Patter?
so long as it wasn't Stephen.
AMONG COLLECTORS OF practi-
cal joke lore, tradition has it that
Hugh Troy is such a savant in the field
that he has never been hoaxed him.
self. Troy revealed to as that the is
not so. It is true, however, that he has
gotten even with most of tloe rascals
who took him.
Troy was first outplayed (to use a
Stephen Potter term) by his sister. He
was reading a geography primer one
day when he came across the state-
ment: "The ATChiC regions are in-
habited by the black hear, the brown
bear and the great white also." Ile
asked his sister what The Great White
Also was.
She feigned surprise that Ile didn't
know and said it was a monster who
specialized in devouring little boys. For
months thereafter she coerced him into
doing all sorts of unpleasant things,
such as washing his hands before din-
ner and going to bed an time, by warn-
ing lonn that if he didn't, The Great
White Also would come after him.
Troy was 14 before he devised suit.
able retaliation. One day he began
boasting about lois new.found talent as
a poet. He kept it up for days until
his sister finally challenged him to
produce one of lois masterpieces for
inspection or shut up. Troy put It in
the form of a wager. He bet her three
treats to the movies that if he sent one
of lois poems to the New York Times,
they would print it.
Next day he hitchhiked to Auburn,
Hugh Troy pulled his most enduring practical joke while in the Army in
Work( War Of, Tired of the endless paperwork, Troy mimeographed
forms for Daily Flypaper Reports, detailing the number of flies trapped
on each strand of flypaper in the mess hall and analysing the results by
wind velocity, nearness to windows, nearness to kitchen, etc. He slipped
the Flypaper Reports in among &heals of regulation ones and sent them
Os headquarters. Soon other units of the command began to catch hell
for not sending in theirs, and rhe Daily Flypaper Reports became stand-
ard procedure. For all Troy knows, by the end of the mar the Pentagon
had made them regulation for ell the arm,i for6es. _
Skeiceee Mr Tom Wolre. The WeshinMon nest
Troy carved an ear out of a hunk of dried beef, mounted it in a velvet
shadow.box with a highly descriptive placard, smuggled it into the
museum and hung it on the wall. The result is shown above: there was
soon plenty of space and Troy (upper right/ enjoyed she paintings in peace.
N. Y., and mailed a letter to the Times
Sunday Book Review's "Queries and
Answers" editor: "I am anxious to find
a ',Wee of poetry. by an American, I
believe, with some particularly moving
stanzas about a gypsy maiden ahan.
dolled on the trail by her tribe. Titus
Grigsby, Auburn, N. Y."
"T. G.'s" query was duly published.
The following week, back in Ithaca,
Troy wrote the Times the answer:
"T. G. must be referring to the beauti-
ful 'Curse of the Gypsy Mandolin' writ-
ten in 1870 by the celebrated poet
laureate of Syranuse, N. Y.. Hugh Troy.
G. Claude Metter, Ithaca, N. le" -Flet-
Ler" supplied the sianzas to clues:ion?
a)so duly published by the Times,
"So we leave her,
So we leave her
So we leave her
Far Irma where her weer
TOomt.
In the scarlet fever
In the scarlet fever
In the scarlet fever
Colwaleseent home."
A FTER GRADUATING FROM COR.
NULL ? which barely withstood
his four years there?Troy went to
New York to make a name Inc himself
as an artist. One of his friends was
Theodor Reuss Geiscl, now known to
millions of parents and children as
"Dr. Sense," author and illustrator of
children's books such as "The Cat in
the Hat." The two entered into what
Troy cello's nutty feud."
When Troy left town one week in
February, Geisel, in collusion with tloe
janitor, sneaked into Troy's apartment,
emptied several dozen packagea Of Mb:
In, a bagful of cut fruit and half a Joe
en goldfish into the bathtub filled it
with water and opened the window to
the winter air. Troy returned one bit.
ter cold evening, stamped the mow off
his shoes, went to the bathroom to
draw a steaming tub?and found the
World's largest frozen fruitenefish
gelatin.
Troy's revenge took weeks. Geisel
and his wife had just moved to a high-
toned apartment house on Park ave.
Their apartment shared a foyer with
another across the way, but the two
families had never met.
The Geisels often invited Troy over
for supper, Each time, just before
knocking on the door, Troy would deo
orate the foyer with a new object, al.
ways in the worst possible taste?a
second-hand oak-stain table with un-
even legs, a lamp with a ceramic base
in the shape of a Turkish belly dancer,
a bleary dimestore mirror. a Niagara
Falls felt pennant and an rm.
The Geisels thought their neighbors
were responsible?and often comment-
ed to Troy about their boorish taste?
while the neighbors blamed the Gei-
sells .The Niagara Falls felt Tennant
was the last straw for the Geisels, and
they complained to the building super.
intendent.
"That's funny," he told them. "Those
other folks said the same thing about
eon. In fact, they called up the owners
and asked them if they let just any
old trash live here."
HUGH TROY SAYS HE FINDS it
hard to understand why Wash.
ington, which seems an fat for the
plucking, has Inspired, no few memor-
able practical jokes. He has heard of
On, however, which quite frankly made
him jealous, he confesses.
It seems that one of the more se.
comity-conscious Federal agencies set
forth a regulation saying that any em-
ploye who happened to speak with any
person under contract to a news me-
dium (newspaper, television network,
etc.) must report the gig of cis con.
versation in memorandum form the
next day.
One of the agency's middlemanking
officials was a personal friend of many
Washington newsmen, lived next door,
in fact, to a correspondent for a New
York paper, and found it a useleg
burden to have to file the memos three
and four times e week
l,'r:oclrrd
Hoping to needle the regulation out
of existence, he began to file truthful
but picayune reports on the order of:
"Was approached late yesterday after.
noon by John 13,--, under contract
with the New York?, who inquired:
'Has OM cat ;lunged over in your yard?
We can't find loim.' Replied: 'Haven't
seen him, John.' Conversation termi-
nated"
These had no effect, however, so he
decided to pull out all the stops. His
final report read:
"Was eating dinner last evening
when a sharp rap sounded un the front
door. Opened door and found a YOuna
!non known as Leroy, under contract
with The Washington Post et Times.
Herald. Asked: 'What is iL, Leroy'? Ile
'Ire come to collect for The
Wghington Pont' Produgd amount
requested and said, :Here you are, Le.
roy.' Ile said: 'Thank you, sir.' Convee
sation terminated."
Infuriated, his superior took the
memorandum to the agency's top.level
staff meelong, The man's bog Govern.
inent career hung in the balance?un.
Ii! the agency's director, unable to run'
loin himself, exploded with laughter
and toppled backward in his swivel
chair. That was the last of the regula.
Lion.
BUT TO GET A TRUE IDEA of jest
how dearly Hugh Troy laves to
see phonies, stuffed shirts and tin mar-
tinets cut down to size, consider this
one he tells on himself.
A friend who ranked very high in the
Slate Department asked him over to
lunch one day, and Trey dressed to the
nines, including vest and homberg. At
luncheon's encl. his friend graciously
offered to have him chauffeured home
In a State Departmept Cadillac.
Troy was settled comfortably in the
hack seat when the limousine stopped
for a red light h.ide o bus load of
touring high school students from
Texas. Everybody on board was fee
tamed with Pinocchio hats and plumes
and on sunken gmnileep in app/e
candy. lint young man displayed a wa-
ter pistol.
. Spotting the silkhaiblack Cadillac,
he squirted a tentative trickle of wa-
ter on the front windshield and en.
joyed all the giggles.
The chauffeur looked around at Troy
as if to say: "You can't tolerate a thing
like that.'
Troy adjusted his homburg, swung
the back door open ponderously, ley.
elcd a forefinger at the students and
orated: "I happen to be Sen. Radiant
J. Lungburst of Texas, and if you hoo
ligans are representative of the young
men and women of Texas today, then it
is time for our great state to hang its
head in infamous shame!"
ruHE STUDENTS were shocked into
silence at the sight of an enraged
old dignitary who confronted them.
But the genetic residue of Jim Bowie,
Davy Crockett and Sam Houston sod-
denly sparked alive within the gunman.
He let "Sen. Lungburst" have It full
stream?all over the vest, the fine
worsted suit, the silk shirt, the horn.
burg, and flush in the music.
As the light changed, Hugh TraM
dripping from hamburg to bluchers,
was still blustering at the top of his
lungs: "You?you?I'll take this to the
Legislature ? I'll take this into the
halls of the United States Senate itself
?1'11 ?"
Troy bed yowling, bystanders kept
hooting and the boys and girls cheered
their deadeye outrider as the light
changed and the duel became history.
"It was perfectly wonderful," Hugh
Troy recalls. "Perfectly wonderful! You
know, that kid will be a hero as long
as he lives. lie may groW up to be a
wife beater, a snooker Mayer, a 10th.
well, a dun dodger, a church shirker
and an absolute leech on the welfare
and good name of the community. But
he'll never be a total failure. As long
as Inc Eves, hell be remembered as the
guy who put that pompous old ass in
his place back in Washington, D. C.,
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