THE MAKING AND SHREDDING OF SECRETS

• Document Type: CREST
• Collection: General CIA Records
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): CIA-RDP90-00806R000100210039-5
• Release Decision: RIPPUB
• Original Classification: K
• Document Page Count: 1
• Document Creation Date: December 22, 2016
• Document Release Date: September 2, 2010
• Sequence Number: 39
• Publication Date: June 15, 1981
• Content Type: OPEN SOURCE

Sanitized Copy Approved for Release 2010/09/02 : CIA-RDP9O-00806ROO0100210039-5
I '. ? 'i.E PPT ED
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a + &&vin Maddocks
T:I C'H;_?ISIk'; :CIE.CC
15 June 1981
The making and shredding o sec ais
A fellow in Westbrook, Maine, has set up a company
called Confidential Destruction Inc. that shreds pri-
vate papers for you, very privately. A couple of respon-
sible-looking chaps in uniform show up at your door in
a van, carrying an empty canvas bag. The "sensitive"
papers, as they are known in the Confidential Destruc-
tion trade, are gently but firmly placed in the canvas
bag, which is then locked. Confidential Destruction
men are bonded - above suspicion, even as Maine men
go - but you are invited to accompany your about-to-
be-hush-hush papers and witness their impeccable
shredding.
You will sleep that night as you have never slept
before. The way the manager of the local McDonald's
slept after Confidential Destruction shredded his
oversupply of coupons for free hamburgers.
Will Confidential Destruction Inc. take its place be-
side, say, McDonald's as an American success story?
Or is it just a passing novelty, like the roller
discodrome? Who can say at this stage? But according
to the Wall Street Journal, Ladd Heldenbrand, the
Westbrook veterinarian who thought up Confidential!
Destruction Inc., has received about 140 inquiries from
peop!~ all around the country who want to start fran-,
chises, including a retired CIA agent.
If one of the basic rules of business is to provide the
consumer with a romantic .role to play, Confidential
Destruction Inc. deserves to succeed. We like the cos-
tumed guards, the Brinks-image van, the lock on the
canvas bag - the whole sense of theater.
Let's begin by admitting what every service vet-
eran, every government bureaucrat knows: most
"confidential" papers are about as "sensitive" as a
recipe for corned beef hash. On the whole, they consist
of documents that would put a prying mind to sleep'
long before a "secret" could be recognized and - even
more difficult -be understood. - - -
The "top secret" paper exists primarily to make a
"top secret" person - an aristocrat of information
out of anybody permitted access to it.
In a world being buried under information. classi-
fied papers are the equivalent of the exclusive club,
and the shredding of those papers is the ultimate, evi-
dence of one's elitism.
Everybody dreams of producing papers so valuable
that the Library of Congress. would wish to place them
in its archives, reverently, under glass.
The next best thing is to possess papers so "sensi-
tive" that they must be shredded if civilization, as we
know it, is not to be rocked to its foundations.
To throw a paper into the wastebasket is to demean
it to signal that it is common trash. And what does
that make you? On the other hand, to send for guards, a
van, and a canvas bag with a lock dignifies your litter,
and yourself.
Immeasurable prestige is implied in the possession
of papers that must not be allowed to fall into the
Wrong Hands. The key word is "immeasurable." Once
those documents pop into the canvas bag, nobody
knows whether they record state secrets, self-inerimi-
nating memoirs, or a few dozen games of tic-tac-toe. At
15 to 20 cents a pound, who can go wrong?
Clearly, Confidential Destruction Inc. understands
more than its business. - -
But beyond a catering to vanity, a ritual of privacy
is also being practiced here. To have a secret - never
mind what - that no credit-card computer or govern-
ment data bank knows is a real achievement these
days, and a gratifying proof of one's humanity.
All we know is that ever since we imagined the pos-
sibitity of a Confidential Destruction branch in our
neighborhood, we've been saving old electric bills and
shopping lists, along with one or two slightly more
thrilling bits of exotica to stuff a canvas bag. Don't,
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Sanitized Copy Approved for Release 2010/09/02 : CIA-RDP9O-00806ROO0100210039-5