A HALL OF FAME FOR CIA SPOOKS

• Document Type: CREST
• Collection: General CIA Records
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): CIA-RDP90-00806R000200790010-2
• Release Decision: RIPPUB
• Original Classification: K
• Document Page Count: 1
• Document Creation Date: December 22, 2016
• Document Release Date: July 22, 2010
• Sequence Number: 10
• Publication Date: November 15, 1983
• Content Type: OPEN SOURCE

STAT
Sanitized Copy Approved for Release 2010/07/22 : CIA-RDP90-00806R000200790010-2
ARTICLE APPEARED " CHICAGO TRIBUNE
15 November 1983
OIL PACE Z
A hall of fame for CIA spooks
WASHINGTON-Like the man in
the "my broker is E. F. Hutton, and
E. F. Hutton - says," commercials,
CIA Director William Casey is some-
one who can make everyone around
him stop and stare every time he
opens his mouth.
This is in part due to the tidy stock
portfolio Casey's acquired since be-.
coming the nation's chief spy, in-
cluding stock in companies doing
business with the CIA. The presump-
tion is that he's got a better grasp of
market trends than the person who
sends out the millionaires' checks
from Paine Webber.
Also, there's Casey's tendency to,
speak in incomprehensible mutters'
and mumbles. It's been said that
were the KGB to kidnap..Casey and
torture him into revealing all the
U.S. secrets, they'd still learn
nothing.
But Casey has made me stop and
.stare for another reason. He has
come before the Senate Select Com-
mittee on Intelligence to plead for
the creation of a National Intelli-
gence Museum, or, if you will, a
National Gallery of Spooks.
My first reaction was that there
would be little point to such a muse-
um as they would probably keep its
location secret. But no, retired CIA
official Walter Pforzheimer [which
sounds like a cover name to me]
said they want it right down on the
Capital Mall with all the other Wash-
ington museums.
Then I thought they'd try to dis-
guise it by giving it a business front,
just like the CIA does all its covert
operations based in Aliami. Between
the National Museum of Natural His-
tory and the National Gallery of Art,
you'd find an ''AAA Acme
Jor hich was it explOdin ?) cigar, with'
lVllchael Kilian they hoped to Kill Castro; and
w
the depilatory that was to make his
beard fall out And ruin his macho
Thumbscrew and Garbanw Bean image. I _-
Import Co.-No Admittance." These would tie'displayed with the
And,-,if the museum included a Castro scuba diving wet suit filled
Spies Hall of Faroe-.as it surely with itching po~iyder, which was sup-
must in a country that has Country posed to make him go into a fit of
Music .and Hairdressers Halls of convulsive `scratching and drown
Fame-all-the honorees would probe- .and the matching LSD-covered
bly be anonymous. scuba face mask, which I think the
But no, Casey and Pforzheimer CIA weans designers
said they had in mind a museum just Another p? exhibit tried on first.
like all the others, with exhibits open ? must' exhibit would be the
for all to see. "Think of, the impact," covert operation" combat boot de-
Pforzheimer said, "not only on the . Signed by the secret Pentagon lab at
grown-ups who are drawn to tales of Natick, Mass. Its specially molded
intelligence and spies, but also on sole is designed toleave the footprint
f
the kids who are so fond of gadgetry,
and the kind of exhibits that could be
mounted." On thumbscrews.
That kids angle sort of takes care
of the only item I could contribute to
the collection. Pforzheimer is proud
of a photograph of Mata Hari used in
her last application to enter France,
where she was terminated with ex-
treme prejudice in 1917. 1 have a
photograph of Mata wearing nothing
but a bit of Brunnhilde breastplate,
which I think reveals more o f how
most espionage really works than
Pforzheimer's gadgetry would=un-
less hers was secret decoder breast-
plate.
I'd certainly display the red wig
the CIA loaned E. Howard Hunt as a
disguise during Watergate-though it.
didn't make him look anything at all
like Mata Hari, or even Rita
Hayworth.
I'd also include the poison ring
with which the CIA hoped to kill
Patrice Lumumba of the Congo if
they could ever make him feel palsy
enough to shake hands; the poisoned
o
a barefooted person, fooling
enemy patrols into thinkin that a
covert agent's track is that of just
another native-or possibly the
Abominable Snowman.
If there's no room. for the boot in
the National Spook Museum, It could
always be lent to the circus museum
in Baraboo, Wis.
I'd suggest rogue agent Frank Ter-
pi.l's gun collection, except that that
would take up most of downtown
Washington, but I'd certainly insist
the exhibit include a sewing ma-
chine. Why a sewing machine? Well,
why did Casey appoint New Hamp-
shire sewing machine salesman Max
Hugel his chief spy?
The museum's promoters say no
taxpayer money will be required and
that they can raise the $2 million
needed for it from "private sourc-
es. .,
"Private" indeed. This leads me to
believe that the museum would just
be a front for some secret operation
going on inside.
Like a stock brokerage.
Sanitized Copy Approved for Release 2010/07/22 : CIA-RDP90-00806R000200790010-2